Foster Care: showing up, over and over, with open arms and an open heart

When Drew Milas, Basin Electric supervisor of compliance and GIS application, and his wife Keri, became foster parents in 2001, they never imagined how much it would shape their lives or how many lives they would touch in return. “Keri and I always dreamed of raising four children. We envisioned the joy and the chaos, the laughter bouncing through the hallways,” Milas says. “But starting a family didn’t come easy for us. We faced heartbreak and unanswered questions. In the middle of all that pain, we knew one thing for certain: we had so much love to give.” 

That realization led them to foster care. “Fostering gave us a chance to provide something every child deserves – a safe, loving home – even if only for a while,” Milas says. “Over two decades later, we’ve had the privilege of fostering children of all ages, from newborns to teenagers.” 

But it hasn’t always been easy. One of the greatest challenges in fostering is living with uncertainty. “You never know how long a child will stay or how deeply you’ll fall in love with them before they’re gone,” Milas says. “Reunification is always the goal, and while it’s the right thing, it can tear at your heart.”

One of the most unforgettable experiences the Milas family had began with a call about a newborn girl. “She stayed with us for a short while before being reunified with her family. A few months later, we got another call—this time she and her older sister needed a home. We welcomed them without hesitation.” 

It quickly became clear that the older sister had suffered deeply. “She was terrified of men and completely shut down emotionally. It was heartbreaking to witness,” Milas says. “She needed so much care and attention that we ultimately made the difficult decision to foster only her.” 

For 11 months, they poured their energy into her healing. “She began to trust again—especially in me. Then the state decided to reunite her and her sister with their great-grandparents. It was devastating to say goodbye,” Milas says. 

But the story didn’t end there. Two weeks after their move, Milas and his wife got word that things weren’t going well. “I immediately reached out to the Indian Child Welfare Act worker and the tribe to see what we could do,” he says. “In the end, we were able to bring both girls back home, and today, they are legally our daughters. That experience showed me how powerful love and persistence can be, and how much healing is possible with the right support.” 

Milas says there are a lot of misconceptions about foster care, one of which is that foster parents do it for the money. “That couldn’t be further from the truth,” he says. “The financial support rarely covers everything—it’s the love and desire to help that keeps most of us going.”

Another false assumption is that foster kids are “troubled” or “difficult.” “These children have experienced loss and trauma that would break most adults. What they need is understanding, consistency, and someone who sees their potential.” 

People also say, “I couldn’t foster—I’d get too attached.” But that’s exactly what these kids need: someone to attach to, someone willing to take the emotional risk. “Yes, it hurts when they leave,” Milas says. “But being part of their journey, even briefly, can leave an imprint that lasts a lifetime. Foster care isn’t about being a hero. It’s about showing up, over and over, with open arms and an open heart.” 

One of the most rewarding parts of the Milas’ journey is staying in touch with many of the children they’ve fostered. “We receive letters, calls, and social media updates. Some have started families of their own, building the kind of homes they once longed for. Seeing that transformation—seeing them thrive—is a reward beyond words.” 

Milas says if you’re just starting your foster care journey, remember this: you will make a difference. You might not see it right away, but the love you give matters. “Think of the starfish story, where a child tosses one stranded starfish at a time back into the sea. When told it won’t make a difference, the child replies, ‘It made a difference to that one.’ That’s foster care in a nutshell.” 

Milas has learned that love is always a risk, but one worth taking. “You learn to hold on loosely, love fully, and appreciate each moment as a gift.” 

Today, Milas and his wife are proud parents of six girls, three adopted and three biological, and each one is a reminder of the incredible, unpredictable beauty of family and fostering.